I'm A Terrible Blogger

So I've been MIA for a while now. Haven't really got an excuse, just regular feeling sick POTS stuff.

I think I struggle with blogging because I feel like I have nothing to write about except POTS, which is so damn boring. But maybe I'll try start fresh (again) and write about more stuff, with a little bit of medical thrown in (because no matter how hard I try I can't escape it).

Anyway this is me saying that I'm back (again).

Good luck,
Bridge

Falling Behind

I'm trying to do some work on my internals, because I am so far behind and have four to finish in two weeks. But I just can't think. 

I'm writing about Steven Spielberg, comparing scenes from two of his movies - one is from Saving Private Ryan, and is when Caparzo is shot for trying to save the child who reminds him of his neice. The other is from Empire of the Sun, and is at the beginning when the family is driving through the poverty-stricken city of Shanghai to attend a fancy dress party. I have to look at the two scenes and see what techniques Spielberg uses to illustrate theme and make them his own. 

It's a really straightforward internal, just a simple essay. But I can't put down into writing what's in my head, and half the time there's nothing in my head because I'm so tired. Or my head is pounding too hard.

I can't stop thinking about how the old me, the healthy me, would have found this a piece of cake. I thought I was making progress, but at the moment I'm just going through one of those times, when I wish that I was healthy and able to do simple things. 

I'll go have a lie down and try again tomorrow. 

Good luck,

Bridget

Complaining

I live a lonely life. I was walking upstairs, feeling my head spin around my neck worse than usual, when I realised I haven't hung out with my friends since the ball. On the 16th. It's been practically a month, and I've become some sort of hermit.

But that's okay. I've been more sick than usual recently - stomach problems have made everything incredibly hard, and I've had to have a nap every day (sometimes two of them) because I'm so damn fatigued. I'm seeing a gastroenterologist on the 23rd, and my GP won't do anything to help because he's scared of doing something wrong. Which is fine, except for the fact that I'm in pain and my life is falling apart again.

It's awful timing, because my mock exams are on this week - practice exams for the real thing happening in October - and I've been sick for the past month, unable to study. I don't even think I'd be able to sit still in a room for three hours right now. And on top of that I haven't been able to complete my internals, so I might not get enough credits to get into university. You need 60 credits minimum, and I have 25.

I guess I've been feeling pretty down recently. I was doing well, getting better, making it to school. And all of a sudden something has come along again and hit me in the face and my life has to come to a standstill while I wait for my body to stop attacking itself. Its hard to feel good about yourself when you're constantly bloated, gaining weight and you're skin's going to shit because you haven't been able to properly eat vegetables in a month without getting severe stomach pains.

This has been a bit (understatement) of a ranty post. I'm just nervous about next year. Any suggestions on what I should do if I can't go to uni?

Anyway.
Good Luck,
Bridge

Time Spenders

I spend around 60% of my time in bed, resting from the other 40% of my time out of bed. It's just what happens when you have a chronic condition! Spending that many hours in bed can make you really really bored, but you're not feeling well enough to do schoolwork or something that involves a lot of thinking. So here are my top 3 time spenders when you are stuck in bed

1. Youtube
I am an avid watcher of youtube videos, especially beauty ones. I'm not particularly into makeup, but any videos about how to make yourself look more awake and alive than you really are can be a great help! Also the girls that film beauty videos are always so upbeat and cheerful, so it's nice to watch and lifts me up when I'm wallowing.

2. Reading
I know a lot of people don't like reading, but I am head-over-heels in love with it. I like a mix of non-fiction, young adult, suspense, and heaps more. At the moment I'm reading The Diary Of Anne Frank, and it's incredible.

3. Brainstorming
Just because you feel crappy now, doesn't mean that you'll feel terrible forever. I like to spend my down time researching POTS, looking for activities that I can do that I'll be able to do, looking up recipes that won't hurt my salt-riddled stomach. I've gotten really close to giving up because of everything I can't do, so it's good when I can see all of the things that I still can do, as it gives me hope.

So there are my top 3! There are lots of other things that I do to keep myself occupied and away from self pity, but these are the easiest. What do you do to keep yourself distracted?

Good luck!
Bridge

POTS and Exercise

If you have POTS, you know that when you exercise you feel like your head is going to roll of your body or float up to the ceiling because you're so lightheaded. It sucks, there's no lying about it. But there's also no way to avoid it - keeping your exercise to a routine and making goals is essential to any POTS treatment. 

So what's my plan? I bike Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday for half an hour with little/no resistance. It's not to work my muscles, but to train my body to get used to being upright. On Wednesday and Sunday I do yoga, to help stretch and tone my muscles, and on Saturday I have a day off. It's only four hours of exercise a week, so it's not that bad and it's definitely working!

Every couple of months I change my cardio to something a bit more challenging. I've been on the recumbent bike for a while (my base level, but you could also use a rowing machine as it's also recumbent exercise), and this last week I've moved up to the regular upright bike. It's definitely more challenging, but the more I'm on it the easier it will get and the better I will feel when I'm upright, on and off the bike! The key is not to push yourself too far and relapse your symptoms - baby steps please. 

So that's my plan! Do you have an exercise routine, or any tips and tricks to share? Leave a comment telling me what they are!

Good luck,

Bridge

Ballin'

With POTS you have to miss out on a lot of social stuff, no matter how hard you push yourself you just can't make everything. In fact from experience, pushing myself has just made me miss out on more. 

So when I decided I was going to my school's midwinter ball this year, I knew I needed a game plan. I rested for the weeks leading up to it, so that I didn't tire myself out before it began. I got ready with my friends, and then went home and rested while everyone went to pres, and we all met up again at the ball. I planned everything ahead of time so that I wouldn't be stressing. Oh, and of course, I had A LOT of salt. 

But it was all worth it in the end! I got pictures, I saw all of my friends, and I had my boyfriend looking after me and watching out for me the entire time. I couldn't quite make it out on the dance floor - the standing up and loud music was just too much for me - but I still had a fantastic time!

Now I'm experiencing the aftermath, of course. I knew I'd feel terrible afterwards (this is the worst I've felt POTS-wise in quite a while), but I made the decision to go for it. Sometimes you just have to choose your battles, and being able to look at ball pics with a smile on my face makes it completely worth it.

What battle are you conquering this week?

Good luck, 

Bridge

 

Spring Is In the Air!

We've been dealing with some pretty terrible weather here in NZ recently. The torrential rain and high force winds have been particularly bad, even for Windy Wellington. But for the past couple of days it's been clearing up, the sun's been coming out, and it's been SO NICE. So today I thought I'd talk about my spring wish list: one for fashion, one for beauty, and one for life.

Free People Halter Neck Bralette
Is it awkward that I'm talking about bras? Just roll with it. This bralette (bralet? bralette?) has no underwire which means that it doesn't feel nearly as uncomfortable as normal bras, plus the lace details means that it looks really nice peeking out from under simple outfits. So it's a win win! If you're bigger chested you might need a little more support, but for us members of the IBTC (itty bitty titty committy), this is a really nice one to go for! I particularly like the duck egg blue colour, as it's a nice pop but not too bright, and the copper is really nice too.

Topshop Sheer Lip in Red Alert
I love the look of red lips, but am always so paranoid about wearing them in public! The sheer formula makes it easier to wear, and the warm orange undertones makes it a bit more spring appropriate. Only downside is that it's from Topshop, which means crazy shipping, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

Do More Yoga
The bad thing about spring for me is that that means it's exam season (cries inside). I have school exams in a few weeks, leading up to the big catastrophe in November, so stress levels are going to be through the roof. My stress repellent this year will be yoga! I love how my body feels during and after yoga - completely relaxed, stretched out, refreshed. So the aim is twice a week this spring, to help me through the hectic season.

So that's my Spring Wish List! What's on yours this year?

Have a great day!
Bridge