Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Covering Up Scars

I've got things on my body that I'm not happy about, not proud of. I also have three school balls this year that I'm feeling pretty stressed about as is with my POTS flaring.

I've had to do a lot of thinking about whether I want to show my scars and embrace who I am (fuck what everyone else thinks) or whether I should take the more modest, more appropriate route and cover them up.

I've decided to be modest for one last year. One last year of covering up the scars, one last year of hiding my past, one last year of stunted growth, and next year I'm going to wear whatever the hell I want, because why not?

Not gonna lie, it scares the shit out of me showing my arms at the moment, showing my scars and all of my mistakes in public. But I need to learn to embrace my insecurities, either ignoring them or working with them to accentuate the things I love about myself, and eventually the insecurity won't have such a strong power over me. They won't fade away, but they won't hinder me either.

Saying that, there's a time and place for everything, and my last year of high school is not the best place to bare it all - I already get enough strange looks for being the sick girl, I don't need even more for being the sick girl who's covered in scars too.

Next year - first year of uni, first year embracing me - I'm so ready.

Have a great day!

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